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The wounded child in me begs for a justice that will never be (poetry)

December 22, 2011

 

The wounded child in me begs for a justice that will never be……

Sometimes I feel like I just want to cry

Sometimes I feel like I just want to die

Then I remember who I am, where I came from and what I’ve been through

That gives me the strength to go on, the courage to start new

The wounds I have on my soul will never heal and bleed fresh everyday

I’m always going to be that wounded child on the inside no matter what lies my lips have to say

I will not let anyone in to see my pain. The pain that runs through the core of me

The pain made the anger and the anger created the demons that now control me

I may look sweet, nice and harmless to you

But a girl like me hides everything behind a facade to keep all from seeing what is true

With a heart as black and cold as mine who knows what the anger can bring out

That’s why I love to drink to be the real me and blame it on the alcohol when I show everyone what I’m really about

I love the sound of a fist hitting skin

Ill instigate a brawl just so I can have a fight to be in

Fighting brings me a peace I can’t replicate

And when the demons scream they are hard to placate

The wounded child in me begs for a justice that will never be

I wish I could kill all the people who ever hurt the child that was once me

A child is the next thing to one of God’s angels in the sky

How could someone one want to hurt a child and laugh at them while they cry??

I HATE YOU ****** for what you did to us for what you did to me

I promise you before you die my vengeance is something you will definatly see

You took my trust and shattered it like cheap glass

Every time you hit me I’d repeat in my head he’s my daddy his anger will soon pass

But no fuck that it got worse teeth imprints were left on little backs that in a perfect world would have been blemish free

You’d hurt them then would come for me

You could see my anger my pain and you’d call me out and want to know how I was gonna protect them to let you see

My anger grew with each smack and a child’s scream and cries

The pain you caused is something you’re too stupid to see to ignorant to even realize

Thoughts of you feel me with a murderous rage

And I yearn to let the demons out of their cage

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bring the alcohol so I can drown the pain

Bring the rage so I can feel sane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m trying to stop drinking I’m trying to live my life right

But then I hear the screams and crying from the past in my dreams at night

I wake and the pain has grown and controls what I say and do

A pain that’s been growing since I was 5 years old a pain that started when I met you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 © April M Barbosa 2008

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