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dear dad

December 23, 2011

I let you come into my life once again

You brought promises and comfort that I hadn’t felt since childhood

But then you dropped me AGAIN!!!

and I felt a pain and sadness I hadn’t felt since childhood

The money didn’t matter but dad you said you’d walk me down the aisle you said you’d be there by my side

and then again you disappeared and how much you meant to me ..died

Damn fuck I used to wait for you to come for me

I thought you would! I thought Id prove my mom wrong, that I was right you were going to come she would see

But nope it ended up the same way every time

me crying and my mom trying to tell me everything will be fine

You gave me emotional scars that I thought would never heal

I wish I could inflict this shit on you so you could see how you made me feel

You came back saying you love me even though i was your only child to not grow up with you

If that’s the case why did you go away again what the fuck did I do??

I’ve done my best married a good man had beautiful kids got straight A’s published books I gave anything I tried my all

Just so I could tell you if you ever decided to call

All I wanted was your love and for you to be proud of me

But nope you are the man my mom told me you’d be

Let me ask you this? Why did you lie????

You admitted to beating up my mom but why say you’d be at my wedding when you knew the truth?? Did you want to make me cry????

Well you did!!!!! Does that make you feel good inside???

Knowing that my childhood dream of having a dad has died?????

© April Barbosa 2009


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