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unanswered questions

December 23, 2011

The words I have to say keep coming to my lips and dying there in silent agony

I honestly don’t know if I want to know the truth because I don’t know what it will do to me

It hangs in the air like a silently falling guillotine

It frustrates me so bad I want to scream

The answer can send my past worries away

or it can bring out a truth I didn’t want to know and take my happiness away

Its a silent torture to think I know but really I don’t know shit

Every time I see the holder of the truth I say ok I’m gonna ask this time is it

But then I lose my nerve and am filled with fear

No fear for the person just the truth they hold

And the reality that the truth can be bad and make my heart turn dead and cold

I don’t know if the truth is what I really want or just an answer to long dead questions that shouldn’t matter to me

This question formed a long time ago at a time in my life where nothing was the way it should be

I have a hard time with the betrayal the hurt and letting the past go

But now I’m really questioning myself. Do I really want to know???….

© April Barbosa 2009

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