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February 26, 2012

Another Preview of the Game Untold please leave comments—>>  Walking down the road I wondered how I had let my life come to this point.  Things had never been this bad. I looked down at my blood splattered torn shirt. No one would pick me up looking like I did. There was a store across the street so I walked toward it. I never made plans just did what was necessary. That’s what my homie Chino taught me, just do never think. Thinking made stuff screw up in a hurry.  I walked in, the bell over the door sounded. The cashier was a teenager with earphones in her ears connected to a blaring IPod. The girl didn’t even realize she was no longer alone.  Clothes; I walked to the clothes aisle, grabbed a shirt, hoodie and sweatpants. Kneeled on the floor and began to change clothing. The gun in my pocket I put in my bra stood up and walked out. The girl at the counter never even realized I had been there but the cameras would tell a different story….

A few months ago I was just a regular person with a family a job a house a car, bills nothing out of the ordinary. Now I was something else and it all started when a stranger entered my well maintained life.  I was working as I did every night when a young girl came in and sat down I asked if I could help her. The girl said you can’t help me no one can but you can help yourself.  With that the girl handed me an envelope and ran out.  I looked down at the envelope and didn’t know what to do with it but didn’t have time to think about it because a customer came in so I just went back to work and put it to the back of my mind. That night when I got home I was exhausted and just put my jacket on the couch and began to make dinner for my family. My husband and kids were very excited for me to be home.

The next morning I had taken my husband to work. It was my day off so I planned to get laundry and chores done. I was taking stuff out of my jacket pockets to throw it in the washer when I came across the envelope.  A cold chill ran down my spine. I didn’t know what was in the envelope and if I really wanted to find out. I put it on the counter and tried to go on with my day. I was unable to get the envelope out of my mind so I opened it. Out came another envelope and a folded letter.  I opened the letter.  “A long time ago a 17 year old girl was caught up in stuff she knew nothing about. She did things that she never realized would catch up with her. She hurt people that even in death were so powerful they would find her. More than a decade has past and now it is time to make things right. For the sake of your family you better right all the wrongs you did those many years ago.”  I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. So many memories came flooding back to me.  I picked up the second envelope with a shaky hand. I opened the flap and pictures fell to the counter. Faces and events from the past were staring back at me. The tears came flowing, this shouldn’t be happening. I was no longer that person. It had taken years and lots of changes but I wasn’t her anymore.  I tried to think clearly but it was hard.  The memories of screams of pain drowned out every rational thought I had. My family it could be my family next.
When my husband came home he immediately sensed something was wrong. Looking into his caring eyes tore me apart. He knew nothing about my past. He thought I had lived a life that was the complete opposite of the truth.  I loved this man with all my heart and soul how could I tell him that the foundation of our lives was a lie. Seeing his smile and trusting face I felt myself falling apart. I was a fake a phony who my husband didn’t even know.  At that realization I knew what needed to be done. When I finally convinced my husband all was good, I lay in bed with my husband. We had been together a decade. I knew everything about him he knew nothing about me. He was in love with a dream, a dream I made up. As soon as his soft snores filled the silent night I got up. There was no time to think I just had to act or else the thoughts would win and I wouldn’t be able to do what needed to be done. I sat and quietly wrote a note to the man I loved so much. I knew he would look at it as abandonment but I had to leave to save him from death. To save him from knowing the evil person I really was. “To the love of my life, I know you will have a lot of questions and will want to find me. But for your safety I beg you to trust me and quietly wait for me to come back to you. Please do not question my motives for disappearing I do it out of my love for you. You mean more to me than anything ever has. There is so much about me you can’t know and some of these things from my past have caught up with me. I love you. I love you more than words can ever explain please be waiting for me when I return to you.”

I taped the note to the master bathroom mirror. I knew he’d seen it as soon as he got up in the morning.  I looked back at his sleeping face. All the memories of our lifetime together brought tears to my eyes. If only I knew back then what I know now. I’d have never done everything I’ve done. With that thought I left my home. I walked down the highway and hitchhiked it was morning when I arrived in the tiny town 40 minutes away on the stateline. The driver dropped me off at a gas station. I saw a group of guys sitting in silver maxima. I walked up to them and asked who the owner was. The driver said he was. I told him I’d give him $3000 cash for his car. He laughed like it was a joke. I pulled out the cash, I now have a vehicle.

I turned the car on and drove. My destination was the place where my nightmares occurred nightly.  As the miles and hours past by conversations from my teenage years  flowed through my mind.  The words of a dying friend begging God for forgiveness, the screams of a child suffering from a heroin overdose. Things no one knew I had witnessed, things I had tried hard to forget ran before my minds eye like they had just happened. Shutting my mind off was no option so I decided to find a hotel and come up with a game plan.  The world I was heading into was a place I had not been to in over 10 years.  I rented a room in a small out of the way hotel a seedy place where hourly rentals were available a place where no questions were asked and everyone minded their own business.  While in the room I pulled out a trac phone I had bought at the local Walgreens.  I dialed a number that I hadn’t used in years yet remembered it like I used it daily. There was no doubt in my mind that the number would still be answered by the person I expected because this person had given me their word those many years ago that if I ever needed anything they would always be there for me. The phone rang twice and was picked up.

  © 2012 April M. BarbosaRemove


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