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The darkness ((Poetry))

The darkness…

The darkness has snuck in

Slowly, silently stealthy

Like a mist it swirls and envelops all in its way

We fight to stay but in the end we fall

It drags the weak ones away

When we hear the darkness call

Bound to a weak soul

Feeling an urge a need for something that we can’t find

A pain that only a fiend can know

Fiending, searching, hurting

Hurting with the hunger that does not cease

Searching for a way to feel peace

It’s a never ending race to find the next high

Craving, yearning, needing fiending!!

Feeling relieved once the pain is gone but all the while wishing it was time to die

Crying, Asking God WHY? WHY? WHY

Once having it all but for the rush let it all go

Searching for a happiness that a fiend can never know

Wanting it needing it lying to get it but it’s all ok

A fiend will do anything to make the demons go away!!!


© 7/28/2012 April M. Barbosa


Lead me Lord and I will follow blindly yet faithfully

Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out, – that’s knowledge. It’s in the time of unknowing that having faith is what sees you through to the other side. Faith is what gives you strength. Faith is that light in your heart that keeps on shining even when it’s all darkness outside. Now is the time to keep that faith alive!
I have no fear of anything or anyone because I know God has my back and with God with me no one can be against me.

In loving memory of my stepdad ((poetry))

God whispered your name in the wind

He knew you needed rest He knew it was your time to go with Him

You endured a few long years of pain

Now you are in God’s arms healthy and new again

May God ease the sorrow in the hearts of those you left behind,

Memories of bonito and San Jose flow through my mind

Listening to Tom Petty and you telling me music was the best way to let art flow

I was 9 then and didn’t understand what you meant but now I know

You had a big part in shaping who I am today

You taught me to listen to music and hear the emotion not just to hear what they say

I didn’t know how much you meant to me until now you are gone I am sorry I wasn’t brave enough to say good bye

The tears won’t wash that regret away no matter how much I cry

I love you daddy bobby I am sorry through these years we grew apart

I wish I could have told you that you will always have a place in my heart


RIP Bobby  Sanchez the only man I ever called dad aside from my bio dad

By April M. Barbosa © 5/25/2012

An Empty life (poetry)

An Empty Life

Alone in a world full of people

 A haunting silence in a room full of noise

A bittersweet ending to a life of coldness

A life of emptiness

 A life of stabbing pain

Hold on!

Grasping onto all that is there

Razor sharp ripping skin of a hand that holds on with all its mite

Words of pain die on the lips

Why speak when no one listens

They hear the sound but do not listen to the pain

Blood drips constantly to the floor

A floor littered with broken promises and shattered dreams

Look into the mirror

See the haunted hurting soulful eyes staring back

Save her before it’s too late

By April M. Barbosa © 2012

For Me ((Poetry))

For me I will be strong

 For me I will offer the comfort I crave

For me I will love myself unconditionally

 Because today I realized I have never lived my own life for me

 April M. Barbosa 2012 ©

Love for me (poetry)

I have been looking for a spot to fit in for all these years

Endless nights shedding lost tears

Then today it all became clear I could finally see

All that was missing in my life was my own love and respect for me

April M. Barbosa 2012©

Watch “mommys lil boy (poetry).wmv” on YouTube